Bacteriophage-typing – using bacterial viruses to identify bacteria at the species and strain level – was the gold standard technology underlying the rapid expansion of international surveillance for major bacterial pathogens after 1945. The microbiological networks, taxonomies, and culture collections produced by phage-typers underpinned important advances in scientists’ understanding of microbial diversity and infection control efforts. However, embedded geopolitics, extractive microbial sampling, and cultural biases also distorted typing efforts and resulting findings in favour of high-income countries. Northern Normal merges classic historical research on phage-typing archives and publications with spatial analysis using ArcGIS to reconstruct the origins, rise, and biases of international phage-typing. Focusing on typing efforts for Salmonella enterica serovar Typhi (the cause of typhoid fever), it shows how (post)colonial phage-typing networks cemented the dominance of Northern microbiological hubs and led to an inverse reading of microbial prevalence and relevance. Whereas strains prevalent in the Global North were designated universal, those from endemic areas in the South were exoticized. The article tracks how taxonomic distinctions between ‘universal’ Northern strains and high-prevalence ‘exotic’ strains reinforced biosecurity concerns about the reimport of typhoid from Southern countries, led to the choice of non-representative strains to test typhoid vaccines, and facilitated growing neglect of typhoid at the international level. The article ends by reflecting on the persistence of (post)colonial microbiological infrastructures and resulting surveillance distortions in the genomic era.